Bad Sheep

4 month update
June 26, 2009, 3:23 am
Filed under: twins

Man, I have really neglected this blog, haven’t I? It’s not that I have been away from blogging, I have just focused on the family blog which is under my real identity. Alot has happened with the boys in the last 4 months. My last post was about both of them being in NICU. This was the hardest time of my life. I cried and cried for my babies and prayed their health would improve and they could come home. Dean came home after 2 weeks and Sam finally came home after 3 weeks. I was so happy, I cried some more.

Then it was really the hardest time of my life trying to juggle both babies. I cried a lot then too, worried that I would not be able to be a good mother to both of them. My attention was divided and there were times that I never thought I could make it because they would both be inconsolable. But then it finally hit me that they can’t cry forever and that we would just need to make it through each day. There were days that I was ready to go back to work. I would get cabin fever because I never ventured out except to take them to the doctor. I got maybe 3-4 hours on the weekend to run errands but that was about it. People will tell you that it gets better. And it does. Much, much better.

Four months. Wow. Time really does fly. When I look back on the photos from the last 4 months, I cannot believe the changes in the boys. The obvious being their weight and overall size. But also their personalities are more pronounced. I see what people mean when they say you need to cherish every minute with your children because it goes by in a flash. I love these babies to bits and just when I think it can’t get any better then it is at that moment, I am amazed that it does.

Dean is so very loud. He has great lung capacity and shows it off when he is hungry. He goes from zero to starving in less then 4 seconds and we cannot get that nipple in his mouth fast enough. His bottom lips sticks out when he cries and it is the most pitiful pouty face. He loves gnawing on his hand and ends up with slobber all over his face and hands. He handles tummy time ok, can hold up his head for a bit but has yet to lift himself with his arms. he has inherited his dad’s greasy skin and even after a bath, his head and face get so oily. This does not help the cradle cap that keeps lingering. Dean can entertain himself whether he is in his bouncy chair or on the swing. He gives smiles easily and loves to talk and shrieks when he is ready for attention. His eyes are big and they get even bigger when he is excited or startled. It is the funniest deer in headlights look. He even has darker eyebrows. He is a pretty good sleeper and usually goes down easily except when he is overly tired and past that point. Dean loves the TV and can sit and watch with his dad until he falls asleep. Dean loves kisses and when I go in for a cheek, he turns his head and tries to kiss me but ends up slobbering on my cheek.

Samuel, my little 3 pound baby is a far cry from three pounds nowadays. He is still smaller than Dean but he can sure eat Dean under the table. If there is ever a bottle drinking game, Sam would win hands down. His hair is slowly trying to grow but he does not have the grease monkey look that Dean sports. Samuel has the cutest facial expressions and already knows how to cock his eyebrow. When he raises his eyebrows, he’s showing off his “How you doin’?” look. You have a work a little harder to get a smile out of Samuel but when you do, it is a crooked grin that he inherited from his daddy. Oh, and he has the sweetest giggle when he is happy. It just melts my heart. He is not a big talker like his brother but he has no qualms about pitching a fit to get attention. And Sam is definitely an attention hog. Still hollers when he is put down but at least it gets less and less with time. Sam has a harder time with naps. I think he takes after me in that area. It’s as if he is afraid to sleep for long periods for fear of missing something exciting. Sam hates tummy time. Can’t stand to be on his stomach which is weird because he loved it when he was smaller. Lately, he has been fascinated by his arm and hand. He holds his arm out in front of him and will stare at his fist for ages.

They both are so squirmy and kick up a storm. They do great with breastfeeding and I love nursing them. Their reflux is better and so spit up is less. I am unsure if it is because of the medicine or their maturing digestive system. Bath time is not so traumatic as it used to be and I can’t wait until they can sit up unassisted so they can both play in the tub together. They both love sitting on their daddy’s lap to watch TV and seem to enjoy the Baby Einstein DVDs I bought them. Both can sit for a while when propped up but because they move so much, they tend to fall over. They are much happier babies and are so fun to watch and play with. At times they look completely different and then other times, they look like they are related.

Their well baby visit is next week so we will see how much they have gained and what percentile they are in. They will also get their next round of shots and thanks to Sarah, I am going to follow the adjusted vaccination. schedule. We’ll see if the pediatrician has an issue with that.

Our au pair, Tang, has been great with them. I worried because she dealt with older babies in Thailand, 6 months and up and I thought she would be bored with 2 babies under 6 months. She is sweet with them and they recognize her. I wonder if they can tell which Asian lady is their momma?

Lots of pictures here. I warn you, prepare to get a cavity from all the sweet baby cuteness.

2 weeks
March 3, 2009, 9:29 pm
Filed under: Bebbe

Today marks their 2 week birthday. Has it really been fourteen days since they entered this world? They will be 36 weeks gestation tomorrow. Over the last few days, they have gone through lots of changes.

Dean is getting bigger and stronger. He had been at the lowest temp he could possibly go in the isolette. He was not able to regulate his towards the end of last week but he got to wear clothes in it. Grandma and Papa bought them preemie clothes and even though they are a little big still, they fit him better than the newborn or 0-3 mths clothes. His weight is 4 lbs 12 oz and it will be no time before he fills out the preemie clothes. He has been taking all his bottles and had not been needing the gavage tube. He did not like the tube anyway and kept yanking it out of his nose.

One of the neonatologists, told me I could try to breast feed Dean and our first venture was Saturday. He fussed and fussed but he was able to latch on and got a few good sucks in but I think it was too much work for him. Either that or my monstrous ape nipple was too big for his mouth. Since he is still so small, he is not able to take in much of the areola and instead has a death grip on my nipple. It pained me having his jaws of life clamped on me but was just so glad that he didn’t choke on it. I think that experience stressed me out more than it stressed Dean. I tried again on Sunday and Monday for his 9 pm feeding and each time, Dean fussed less and sucked just a little bit more. I usually stick with it for 15 minutes but then give him his bottle to make sure he is getting enough to eat. I have to persevere. Eventually, he will have to get used to mama long boobs.

I got a call today from NICU that made me cry. The doctor told me that she is preparing Dean to come home!! There are still criteria that need to be met but it looks like in the next 48 hours, Dean can come home. His feedings are supplemented to 22 calories and he can have as much as he wants by bottle. He has been in an open crib since 3 pm today. They will monitor him to see if he can regulate his own temp. We brought the car seat to the hospital and he will have to pass the car seat test where they check all his vitals while he remains in the car seat for an hour. He is going to get his hepatitis B shot tonight and he is on the list for circumcision Thursday. Everything is moving so fast and I am so nervous about him coming home. But I am more happy than nervous and I can’t wait to hold him for more than a couple of hours each day.

Samuel is also doing very well for a baby boy his size. He had lost some weight toward the end of last week and he was placed back on every other feeding with gavage. He started to gain again so then they put him on 2 bottle feedings and and 1 gavage. It has been a few days and he is taking all his feedings with gusto. He no longer has a tube in his nose. The night nurse weighed Sam and we could not believe he was at 3 lbs 11 oz. She had to weigh him again to make sure. He gets to eat as much as he wants and has been taking 40 cc each feeding. No wonder he is packing on the grams.

Sam and Dean were the only ones in the Big Stepdown room tonight. Once Dean comes home, it will leave Sam in the room by himself. It will be sad to still have Samuel in NICU but with the rate he is eating and gaining, he should be coming home soon.

When I look at them, I cannot believe how much they have changed in such a short amount of time. I am so proud of their progress. The doctors and nurses have done an outstanding job of caring for my boys and I cannot express how much I appreciate them, especially all the help and advice they have offered these two very new parents.

These are some recent photos:

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Stork came early
February 23, 2009, 9:16 pm
Filed under: Pregnancy

Well, I think my last post was a premonition. I went into labor last Monday night and delivered the boys at 3:30 in the morning.

I woke up Monday morning and was worried about some dried blood that apeared when I went to the bathroom. I called the doctor and since there were no other symptoms, she told me to watch myself more closely but that it should not be anything serious.

Around 7:30 pm, I started cramping and feeling lots of pressure on my cervix. I thought it was normal Braxton Hicks so I went to lie down. When Indy came home, he checked on me. He didn’t think it was any more than the normal aches and pains I had been experiencing so he went to make dinner. We were trying a Rachael Ray recipe that I was supposed to make for Valentine’s. I had a kitchen timer and was timing the pain to see how far apart the contractions were but I couldn’t figure out where one ended and the next started. I was able to eat around 9 and it was good. I went back to bed and woke up at 11:00 in excruciating pain. I told him something was not right and we needed to go to the hospital. The pain would not subside.

We got to the emergency room and I was taken to labor and delivery. Everyone was asking if my water broke and it had not. Nurse Lisa hooked monitors to my belly to keep tabs on the babies and the contractions were coming so fast that I couldn’t breathe. That’s all they tell you to do is breathe through them. I was given meds to try to stop my contractions and hopefully keep the babies in longer. Contractions were about 1 to 2 minutes apart. At some point, I lost dinner and let me just say, that 30 minute meal took about 1 minute to clear my system. The nurse checked my cerclage and I thought I was going to rip in half. Baby A was already low but by now he was pushing so hard against my cervix that it was thinning.

When my OB showed up, she also checked my cerclage and I swear it felt like the stitches were ripping out. I got another shot of whatever it was to reduce my contractions but they were still coming back strong. She checked the babies on ultrasound and said they were coming. After a total of three shots to try to stop the contractions with very little effect, my OB said we would need to do a c-section. The OB checked with NICU and it was determined that we would have to move to another hospital. NICU was so full that they could not take 2 more babies.

I was placed in the ambulance and rushed to a hospital about 20 miles away. I wanted to tell the guys to step on it but I was so out of it. Indy was following behind and apparently, we were going about 80 mph. I am glad Indy did not get pulled over for speeding. By the time we got checked in, more bracelets attached to my arms and Rod dressed in scrubs, it was about 3 AM. They wheeled me to the operating room and given a spinal. So with lower body numb, arms strapped to the bed, belly bathed in iodine solution and drapes placed across my chest, they brought Indy into the OR.

Every once in a while I could feel a little prodding on my stomach and the doctor/nurse saying ‘pressure.’ I kept looking at Indy who was trying his best to keep me from being scared. I started to ask him what was happening when we heard the first baby crying. It happened so fast that it was almost surreal hearing a baby cry. Then we were hearing two babies crying. Then I started crying. I had to stop myself after thinking the docs would have a harder time stitching me up if I was shaking all over.

Indy tried to get pictures while staying clear of belly region. (He ended up seeing stuff that is just too traumatic for him to talk about. You would think a person who loves watching scary, gross out movies can still get queasy over seeing their loved one’s guts)
While he was over with the babies, I heard my OB say that Baby A had an abruption and that he swallowed blood. I think at this point, it did not quite register with me what she was saying.

Indy accompanied the babies to NICU and I stayed around to get stitched up. Then the OB said she was taking out my cerclage. It is the weirdest feeling or should I say non-feeling to see your legs being thrown into stirrups and not have any feeling of it. It was like an out of body experience. The OB said the doctor who put in the stitches put them in so tight that there was no chance of anything coming out. I think that the bleeding I had on the morning was either the abruption or the pressure stretching my cervical stitches.

Indy came back from NICU with baby stats and stayed with me in recovery. My blood pressure was so high that they kept me in recovery for over 2 hours. “It’s a boy’s” was what the nurses wrote on his scrubs. I guess the plural was an afterthought.

Baby A – Dean Christian
3:31 AM
17 inches
4 lbs 6.5 ounces

Baby B – Samuel Elias
3:32 AM
14.75 inches
3 lbs 3 ounces

I was wheeled from recovery to NICU to see the boys but when I opened my eyes, I could not focus at all. I had my glasses on but everything was blurry and every time I tried to focus on the babies, my vision would move upward. I had no control over my eye muscles. I finally got so frustrated I told them I wanted to leave. After some rest, I did get my vision back and was able to see the babies.

Dean – day 1

Dean – day 6

Samuel – day 6

8 dating phases
February 16, 2009, 11:25 pm
Filed under: Jokes

My sister sent me an email with the 8 Phases of Dating.

The exciting phase was fun. I like the comfortable phase but I could do with less odorous body functions. Indy and I skipped the rest of the phases and are now in the marriage phase but thank goodness my life is not f***ed.  However, we will need to schedule sex for after the babies arrive. With a cervix that is stitched up, there has been no “relations” between us for quite some time. Thank goodness I got a yummy yellow cake with strawberries, whipped cream and chocolate icing for Valentine’s day. That should tide me over for at least a week…

Check out the other comic: How to Impress a Girl – From Ancient History to Now

Groin pains
February 10, 2009, 5:37 pm
Filed under: Pregnancy

I have been feeling really bad this past week. I had an episode at work where I was stressed about a job and the babies reacted. My stomach cramped up so much that I could not stand or walk. I was out on the production floor and tried to make my way to my desk to sit down and I was in so much pain that I started crying. All my coworkers started rushing to me trying to help me sit down. I thought I was going into labor and was so scared I was shaking.

I was so embarrassed having all these people around me seeing me doubled over and crying, I had to tell people to leave me alone and go away. My boss offered to take me home but told him I was fine. He has been very understanding and all around great about the pregnancy that I didn’t want to seem like I was taking advantage. I asked my boss if I could work a couple days a week at home and he suggested working from home Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I’ll take it.

This whole weekend, I have been having increased contractions. Maybe they are still Braxton Hicks but they feel quite different and my “discomfort” is increasing. It doesn’t help that Rod has been incapacitated with a pinched nerve in his back and has not been able to help me get around. I can no longer squat or sit on the ground, I can’t get up by myself. Walking is exhausting and I am always out of breath. I don’t want to say this last week has been painful but it has and I am ready for this to be over. It’s kick in the crotch pain. Does that make me a bad mother? It makes me selfish but I am so stressed and emotional that I know it can’t me good for the babies.

My OB said it is normal and there is nothing that can be done about it. She suggested a belt to help hold up my belly but at this point, I don’t want to buy any more maternity wear. This was my 32 week belly pic from last week.

post office
February 4, 2009, 8:58 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Why are postal employees who work the counter so arrogant and high and mighty?  Seriously. I am a huge pregnant woman and the 2nd person in line. Why the hell does it take 15 minutes for someone to help a customer?  A-hole.

So little time
January 27, 2009, 10:12 am
Filed under: Pregnancy

I am running out of time and I still have so much to do. We still have not put together the baby room. We have no nursery furniture. We have no baby names picked out. I need to put together a birth plan, find a pediatrician, register at the hospital, pack a bag, get with HR about FMLA and short term disability. Take child birth, child care, infant/child CPR and breastfeeding classes (which I am trying to cram into February and the first week in March). I haven’t had any time to scrapbook any of my pregnancy. Can you hear the panic in my typing?? The babies could come at any time and I want to be as prepared as possible. With two procrastinators as parents, these babies may be sleeping in laundry baskets and wearing dish towel diapers until we can get our stuff together.

I talked to my boss about when I plan to start being out of the office. At my last visit to the OB, she wanted to schedule my cerclage removal the 35th week. I think once the cervical stitches come out, the babies may see a light at the end of the tunnel and just decide to follow the light. The last week of February will put me at 35 weeks so I will start working from home then. And then wait and see what happens. Thank goodness I have such an understanding boss who is big on family.

I want to work right up until the babies come so I can maximize my maternity leave after the babies are born. What if there are complications and I need extra time to recuperate? I want as much time to do that. I have been fortunate that I still feel good and can get around. Of course I am as mobile as an 98 year old woman with corns on her feet, shuffling around, but I can still get around.

7 Super Ways to Enjoy Your Maternity Leave

Wait, I need to line up three weeks of help? Help!


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